When Everyday Tasks Feel SO Hard: Understanding Executive Function Struggles
If you’ve ever looked around your house, felt overwhelmed by the mess, and thought, “Why can’t I just do it?” — you’re not alone. Many neurodivergent adults, including women diagnosed later in life, experience executive function challenges.
This isn’t about laziness, lack of motivation, or “not trying hard enough.” This struggle is directly related to how your brain organizes, prioritizes, and follows through on tasks. Understanding what’s happening underneath the surface can be the first step toward giving yourself compassion and finding strategies that actually work for your brain.
What Is Executive Function?
Executive functions are a group of mental skills that help us manage daily life. Things like:
Planning and organization
Initiating tasks
Time management
Emotional regulation
Working memory
Shifting between tasks or ideas
When we experience dysfunction with our executive functioning, even small steps like starting laundry, answering emails, or planning dinner can feel impossible. For adult neurodivergent women, especially those with ADHD and/or autism, these challenges often show up as overwhelm, guilt, and burnout.
Why It’s Especially Tricky for Late-Diagnosed Women
Many women have spent decades masking, overcompensating, or forcing themselves to “push through.” You may have created elaborate systems to stay on top of things… until the added demands started piling up and your systems stopped working. The demands of parenting, work, and maintaining relationships can oftentimes feel overwhelming and it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly falling short.
But here’s the truth: your brain isn’t broken. It just needs some supports. Occupational therapy for neurodivergent adults focuses on helping you build routines, tools, and sensory strategies that align with how your brain naturally works.
Simple, Real-Life Strategies That Help
Externalize your thoughts: Don’t rely on memory alone. Use visual reminders, whiteboards, sticky notes, or digital task managers
Break tasks into micro-steps: “Do laundry” becomes “collect clothes → start wash → move to dryer → fold 5 items”
Pair tasks with interest or comfort: Music, scents, or a favorite show can help boost dopamine and make tasks more approachable
Plan energy, not time: Notice when your energy naturally peaks and schedule demanding tasks then while saving low-energy times for rest or simpler routines
Practice self-compassion: You’re not lazy! Let me say that again for emphasis: You are not lazy! You’re navigating life with a brain that’s wired for creativity and depth, not linear productivity, which is pretty awesome if you ask me. Let’s focus on that :)
Finding Support That Fits You
If this feels familiar, working with a neurodivergent-affirming occupational therapist can help you build realistic systems and reclaim balance. Together, we can explore what works for your unique brain and create routines that feel gentle, sustainable, and supportive minus all the overwhelming stuff.
